Dating and Relationships

Posts Tagged ‘marriage or not’

When we meet our ‘true love’ most of us want to spend every minute possible with him or her. We enjoy listening to what they have to say, we overlook their quirky little imperfections – in fact, we adore them. In general, we fantasize about being with this person every day and every night. Our mind starts to wander toward thoughts of the current living arrangements and how to best remedy that. After all, we want nothing more than to wake up each morning with him/her by our side and to go to sleep the same way.

For some people this will immediately bring to mind thoughts about an engagement followed by a wedding, a blissful honeymoon, and a fairytale life forever more. But for others among us, this type of attitude will prompt thoughts about living together. The process is rather simple – one of you will move in with the other and you will become a couple that loves and lives together on a daily basis.

The advantages of this sort of arrangement include the fact that at least initially; the two of you can keep both homes – just in case one week together is all you can stand, the break up won’t leave either of you homeless. Moving in together provides you with all the closeness of being married, but without any of the legal paperwork that bonds you together. There’s no need to plan for a big expensive wedding – you can start your new living arrangements right away.

The bad thing about that is our society is set up to accept ‘married’ couples in a different way than we accept those couples that simply live together. Right or wrong, some people still believe that living together without the benefit of marriage is wrong. Our society and government seem to support this view by making more advantages available to married couples than to others.

The truth is that husband and wife couples get breaks on their taxes, they can cover each other with their insurance plans, and if there is a divorce there are libraries full of books with laws designed for such an occasion. In some cases, it can be simple to end a marriage because there are so many legal alliances one can turn to. But if you live with your partner and things don’t work out the ending can be quite different.

This is largely because the typical laws relating to the dissolution of a marriage do not apply. This can result in loss of property and even a separation from (your partner’s) children that you have come to love. But of course, without the ‘legal’ marriage to deal with, both partners are free to walk away at anytime they choose.

For some couples, this seems to add to the love they feel from their partner – after all, living together is a choice they make on a continuous basis, whereas many married couples live together because they have committed to the marriage and divorces are a lot of work plus they’re expensive. Then again, because couples that are living together have the freedom to walk out the door without returning, many people involved in such relationships feel insecure.

Determining what is right for you and your partner is a personal decision. However, there are pros and cons to both ways of doing things. Before you make a decision that will affect you profoundly, always consider the options as well as the potential outcomes.