Dating and Relationships

Posts Tagged ‘friends friends / dating london’

Casual dating in London is very important.  It is one of the busiest cities in the world, it has a massive population, but also a population that is largely in transition.  As such finding casual dates to go out and have some fun with can be difficult – there simply is so much competition all the time, and people take their time so seriously.

But whilst in the real world such time constraints and competition can prove to be a stumbling block online these factors are actually a bonus when it comes to trying to get casual dates in London.

Why online dating sites are perfect for getting casual dates in London

Whilst the competition in any bar for ‘time’ with members of the opposite sex can be ferocious, online things are different.  With such a large, and in the main tech savvy, population London has a large number of people who use online dating sites.

The way such sites work means that you will

a) be able to find a lot of people who interest you

b) be able to declare your interest via PM/a prompt button in a manner that will instantly get you noticed in a way that you are unable to do in a bar.

This means that the more people online the better for you – as the more people available who will interest you and who are looking for casual dates.

That is a big advantage of online dating for anyone who wants casual dates rather than leaping full out into relationships.  Because of the very nature of online dating you are meeting people who just want to get to know you before any commitment, and often people who are just after a bit of fun.

With such a constantly changing population many people on London dating sites are just reaching out to others for a date for a good night out – to meet people who have the same sense of fun as they do.  It is a far cry from the old personal ads that might have been desperate pleas to try meet a soul mate.

Using the dating sites

Of course it is important to know how to use the dating sites to your advantage, you don’t want to be meeting the sort who are after initial commitment.  So it is important that you sculpt your profile into something that shows people exactly what you want – casual dating in London.

So keep your profile flirty and jokey.  Don’t say you are after long term commitments if you are not – you will be attracting the wrong crowd.  Instead talk about fun nights out in restaurants and bars, talk about the sort of date that you fancy doing and the sort of fun that you want to be having.

The good news is there are plenty of websites for Londoners who cater specifically for casual dating, so you don’t need to rely on generalist relationship sites.  Remember, online dating gives Londoners much better odds of finding a casual date than trying to find one in a bar.  Certainly worth a try.

For years direct dating has had a bit of a bad reputation as only being for those who are desperate, who who are unable to find partners by other means because there is something wrong.

But times have changed and so to has direct dating, now such methods (including online dating, dating agencies etc) are enjoying a change of image.  It is now seen as a legitimate way for people to meet like minded people, for those who are short of time to find people to take on dates.  Certainly perfect for those who live in busy places like London.

But which one works better, direct dating or traditional dating?

Of course both methods have their pro’s and con’s, so let us look at which might be right for you.

Time

With direct dating you choose how much time you devote to it, but more importantly you can choose to do it in break moments, quiet times when you might otherwise be twiddling your thumbs (especially true of online dating websites).  Whilst you may get more from putting more time in because of the way direct dating works even a few minutes a day can put you in touch with many potential dates.

Traditional dating is harder to quantify.  You never know when you will be meeting new people, and if you actively seek out individuals it can take many evenings in bars, clubs, meetings etc before you find someone who you find attractive and who thinks likewise, and who is single.

Choice

Direct dating’s success depends on bringing you a wide range of choice.  It depends entirely where you live.  I  London you tend to get a wide choice because of the large population, whilst in small towns you have less options.  But you always know that the people you see are available rather than having to find out – and if you live in somewhere like London you get choices well into the tens of thousands.

Traditional dating gives a far wider choice – theoretically everyone.  But you need to find ways of meeting them, find out if they are available and understand more about them as there is no profile to read.

Availability

Direct dating is the hands down winner here.  Because you know that anyone who is putting themselves up for direct dating is available you don’t have to ask awkward questions about spouses or partners to find out as you would when meeting someone via traditional methods.

Attraction

Traditional methods have the edge here.  You will know far better if you are attracted to someone upon seeing them in the flesh and then chatting with them for a few minutes then you would be browsing some photos and reading a profile.

Both methods of finding dates work, but the best way is to try combine the two.  Use direct dating as a way of trying to meet people but never be closed to finding someone via the traditional method.  There are plenty of direct dating options available, so look for the best websites and dating agencies for you, your situation and what you are looking for.

No matter who you, or what stage of life you’re in, or whether you are married, engaged, living with a partner, or you just met someone, or even are hoping to meet someone – we all have one thing in common; all of us start out alone. Before each and every relationship we have at least some alone time.

I believe the alone time is probably some of the most valuable time we ever get. This time allows us an opportunity to get to know ourselves and knowing we really know who we are we can better contribute to others in our life and to the world in general.

I’m not talking about hocus pocus or make believe stuff here. I’m talking about knowing what is truly important in our own world. You could start out with a focus on such things as ethics, morals, and even religious beliefs. These are some of the things that are at the core of who we are. Our true understanding of these issues in ourselves can serve to help us choose someone that is compatible.

Let’s face it, few of us would choose to partner up with a thief.  But how do you feel about a partner that would do such things as keep extra change that was mistakenly handed to him/her after a purchase. Or what about cheating on a test? For some of us these things are acceptable, but for others they are not.

I believe life is full of lessons. Some lessons we learn because we seek out knowledge and understanding, and other times it simply happens. I also believe that we can learn something from everyone we meet. And because I believe that way it is easier to deal with lots of situations. This includes even situations like finding out a partner is cheating or even making the discovery that a relationship is simply not going to work.

You see, even the wrong partner has a valuable lesson to teach, and that doomed relationship takes us closer to the one that we really want.

When we really seek to learn what we can from the individuals in our life we learn more about ourselves. One way to do this is to try to imagine being that other person and how he/she must feel about various issues. Try to determine what makes them tick and to understand then why they behave or do the things they do. Believe me, you will learn much about yourself, as well as the psychology of behaviors.

After you figure exactly the type of person that you want as a partner the next step is make yourself the ideal person for that individual. I know this sounds hokey, but think about it; if this other person is as special as you want them to be, then they want and deserve a wonderful partner, right? It only makes sense to work at turning yourself into that person. But be prepared to work at this. It could require giving up some bad habits or simply becoming more fit by taking better care of yourself.