Dating and Relationships

Posts Tagged ‘couples casual relationships friends / dating london’

Casual dating in London is very important.  It is one of the busiest cities in the world, it has a massive population, but also a population that is largely in transition.  As such finding casual dates to go out and have some fun with can be difficult – there simply is so much competition all the time, and people take their time so seriously.

But whilst in the real world such time constraints and competition can prove to be a stumbling block online these factors are actually a bonus when it comes to trying to get casual dates in London.

Why online dating sites are perfect for getting casual dates in London

Whilst the competition in any bar for ‘time’ with members of the opposite sex can be ferocious, online things are different.  With such a large, and in the main tech savvy, population London has a large number of people who use online dating sites.

The way such sites work means that you will

a) be able to find a lot of people who interest you

b) be able to declare your interest via PM/a prompt button in a manner that will instantly get you noticed in a way that you are unable to do in a bar.

This means that the more people online the better for you – as the more people available who will interest you and who are looking for casual dates.

That is a big advantage of online dating for anyone who wants casual dates rather than leaping full out into relationships.  Because of the very nature of online dating you are meeting people who just want to get to know you before any commitment, and often people who are just after a bit of fun.

With such a constantly changing population many people on London dating sites are just reaching out to others for a date for a good night out – to meet people who have the same sense of fun as they do.  It is a far cry from the old personal ads that might have been desperate pleas to try meet a soul mate.

Using the dating sites

Of course it is important to know how to use the dating sites to your advantage, you don’t want to be meeting the sort who are after initial commitment.  So it is important that you sculpt your profile into something that shows people exactly what you want – casual dating in London.

So keep your profile flirty and jokey.  Don’t say you are after long term commitments if you are not – you will be attracting the wrong crowd.  Instead talk about fun nights out in restaurants and bars, talk about the sort of date that you fancy doing and the sort of fun that you want to be having.

The good news is there are plenty of websites for Londoners who cater specifically for casual dating, so you don’t need to rely on generalist relationship sites.  Remember, online dating gives Londoners much better odds of finding a casual date than trying to find one in a bar.  Certainly worth a try.

For years direct dating has had a bit of a bad reputation as only being for those who are desperate, who who are unable to find partners by other means because there is something wrong.

But times have changed and so to has direct dating, now such methods (including online dating, dating agencies etc) are enjoying a change of image.  It is now seen as a legitimate way for people to meet like minded people, for those who are short of time to find people to take on dates.  Certainly perfect for those who live in busy places like London.

But which one works better, direct dating or traditional dating?

Of course both methods have their pro’s and con’s, so let us look at which might be right for you.

Time

With direct dating you choose how much time you devote to it, but more importantly you can choose to do it in break moments, quiet times when you might otherwise be twiddling your thumbs (especially true of online dating websites).  Whilst you may get more from putting more time in because of the way direct dating works even a few minutes a day can put you in touch with many potential dates.

Traditional dating is harder to quantify.  You never know when you will be meeting new people, and if you actively seek out individuals it can take many evenings in bars, clubs, meetings etc before you find someone who you find attractive and who thinks likewise, and who is single.

Choice

Direct dating’s success depends on bringing you a wide range of choice.  It depends entirely where you live.  I  London you tend to get a wide choice because of the large population, whilst in small towns you have less options.  But you always know that the people you see are available rather than having to find out – and if you live in somewhere like London you get choices well into the tens of thousands.

Traditional dating gives a far wider choice – theoretically everyone.  But you need to find ways of meeting them, find out if they are available and understand more about them as there is no profile to read.

Availability

Direct dating is the hands down winner here.  Because you know that anyone who is putting themselves up for direct dating is available you don’t have to ask awkward questions about spouses or partners to find out as you would when meeting someone via traditional methods.

Attraction

Traditional methods have the edge here.  You will know far better if you are attracted to someone upon seeing them in the flesh and then chatting with them for a few minutes then you would be browsing some photos and reading a profile.

Both methods of finding dates work, but the best way is to try combine the two.  Use direct dating as a way of trying to meet people but never be closed to finding someone via the traditional method.  There are plenty of direct dating options available, so look for the best websites and dating agencies for you, your situation and what you are looking for.

Most of us have been in this situation at one time or another; we have a good friend that we are very close to, in fact, we have become so close to this friend that the friendship feels like much more. How do you know when the friendship has become an affair or a relationship?

On the surface this may seem very simple. You will say that a friendship is when two people are just that – they are friends and nothing more. But does it make a difference how close these friends can be if the friends involved in this friendship have partners? After all, some people use the ole line of saying that they are only friends to cover up an affair or relationship.

In essence, if we have any association with a person, we have a relationship with them. The association can then be defined as a friendship, working relationship, etc. Speaking of working relationships, we spend more of our waking hours with the people we work with than we do our family and friends. There simply isn’t any choice if we are working full time.

That makes it very easy to develop strong ties with those individuals – especially if we also go out to lunch with them and socialize with them after work hours. The point is that these people can become a very important part of our life. So where do we draw the line? Or do we allow our partners to set the boundaries?

First things first: it is true that friendships sometimes develop that are intense. For whatever reason the ‘friends’ are attracted to each other in more than a casual sense and have desires. Let’s be frank, as a human being one can sense when there is a physical attraction. Whether this is pheromones or simply due to the appearance and mannerisms of the partners involved, the attraction between the two is sensed. Deciding whether to act on it is what matters.

Every couple should have a discussion about what is and isn’t acceptable as far as friendships and flirting goes. In reality, having friends of all kinds is a good thing. It offers the opportunity to get insights from a variety of people which can broaden one’s way of thinking. Some couples are very open to outside friends and others are not. Extreme jealousy can often cause problems in a relationship.

Is flirting with others okay? Does it mean your partner wants someone else? When you see your partner flirt with someone else it may startle you and even hurt your feelings. But think about this: flirting in and of itself is harmless. It can be fun and make us feel good about ourselves when it is reciprocated. Why not let your partner have a little fun? Of course, if the action is a regular behavior then it can become annoying – but still rather harmless.