Dating and Relationships

Posts Tagged ‘building relationship’

There are many couples who decide to live together when the urge to have sex is decreasing, but according to the sexologists when you do not have sex steadily over time you lose that desire. So, Sexless relationships, can they work?

In general, if the couple still wants to and cannot have sex because one is tired or have no time then it does not produce any kind of conflict, but in the event that a person has an urge to have sex and the other is not cooperating then several conflicts arise, which can lead to infidelity and cause separation.

Do not be surprised if your partner gives you the excuses like stress, lack of sleep, depression, among others. If the two cannot solve this problem, the best option is to consult a physician or a psychologist. So, Sexless relationships, can they work?

We all know the importance of sex in couples. This not only has to do with the frequency of sex in these relationships, but also the quality. Over time, experts argue that the passion is lost and the relationship centers on the love and companionship. How far is this true? Sexless relationships, can they work?

It is partly true that over a period of time, love takes the front seat in any relationship and sex might take the back seat. But still, sex can be considered as one of the major elements in any relationship and it cannot be completely ignored. This is because sex multiplies the desire for each other and it is the spice of any relationship. This is the reason why you need to give it a bit of attention apart from love and companionship. Plan to take some time out of your busy schedule and try to spend that time with your partner. Not only that, make sure that you have sex at least once in every week if not every day. Also be completely aware of the other person’s needs for sex in a relationship. If you completely ignore the other person’s needs then there are chances that he or she might want to stray out for the sake of sex. This is completely unhealthy for the relationship and might cause separation or a divorce.

So, Sexless relationships, can they work? The chances are very little. So it is better to maintain that fire till the last breath. If you cannot maintain the frequency it is not a problem but if sex complete lacks in the relationship then there are the chances that the relationship might completely lose the beauty. So make sure you maintain physical intimacy as much as possible in the relationship. Sex is one of the most important needs of the human body apart from food and clothing. So, one should completely attend this particular need in order to lead a harmonious and healthy life. When it comes to maintaining a relationship, sex is one of the most important factors apart from love and proper understanding.

When we first begin a relationship our life partner we are likely to want to spend every possible moment with our new mate. Most of us find this new person irresistible, we simply cannot get enough of them. During this initial phase we are learning about them, and for most of us we are hanging on every word they say and listening intently. Most people feel full of joy and see life through rose colored glasses during this stage. This stage, not surprisingly, is referred to as ‘the Honeymoon’ stage.

The stage of a relationship is a phase of discovery. We have become accustomed to seeing our partner so some of the initial excitement is over. During this stage we discover each other’s little quirks and things that make the person human. This phase is when most couples begin to really open up to one another on a consistent basis about their deep thoughts and feelings. Emotional intimacy can become a true reality during this phase.

Once you have come this far most couples agree that it is time to commit to each other. After all, they feel very comfortable with each other and they have shared intimate details about their lives with one another. They have acknowledged that each of them have flaws but they’ve accepted them.

The fourth stage is sometimes referred to as the ‘Power Struggle’ phase. This is the stage where many couples give up – they end their relationship. Power struggles are never comfortable and they are difficult to work through. They usually seem to come from out of nowhere, leaving the partners wondering what went wrong. This is one of those times that the partners have to remember that magical word called ‘compromise’. Communication is vital during such phases.

After the power struggle is resolved the couple will probably move into a stage of growth where feelings of intimacy between them are intensified and the bonds are stronger than ever. Each has learned something new about the other and hopefully each has accepted his/her feelings and views. Because they have weathered a storm together and come through it still holding hands the couple is more in love than ever. It’s great food for the soul.

And not surprisingly, this newfound intimacy often leads to a second phase of what many call a Honeymoon stage. The couple feels great about being together and the bonds are stronger than ever. In the best and healthiest relationships this phase will last indefinitely.

So what was left out? Well, lots of things really. There are phases that focus on such things as having kids, or starting a new business, or any other project that is time and thought demanding. The reason the couple will go through changes during such times is because as one or both partners is giving time and attention to a baby, a new job, a new business, or whatever, the other partner may feel left out, lonely, ignored, neglected, or even jealous. And when that happens the partners have to work through the difficulties and find common ground and compromises that work for both of them.

There are also stages that focus on hardships that could include almost anything that one or both partners finds disturbing. Sometimes it is as tragic as a death of a parent, sibling or child, and other times it may be bankruptcy or health issues that must be addressed.

The reality is that relationships consist of living beings that are closely connected. Relationships themselves take on a life of their own. They have to be nurtured and cared for if they are to thrive. People in the relationships need to understand that there will be phases to their relationship and this is the normal progression of things. This understanding will make the ups and downs of life and how they affect the couple easier to accept. In the end, the couple is likely to learn that each change can be an opportunity for bringing them closer and making their bonds stronger.

No matter who you, or what stage of life you’re in, or whether you are married, engaged, living with a partner, or you just met someone, or even are hoping to meet someone – we all have one thing in common; all of us start out alone. Before each and every relationship we have at least some alone time.

I believe the alone time is probably some of the most valuable time we ever get. This time allows us an opportunity to get to know ourselves and knowing we really know who we are we can better contribute to others in our life and to the world in general.

I’m not talking about hocus pocus or make believe stuff here. I’m talking about knowing what is truly important in our own world. You could start out with a focus on such things as ethics, morals, and even religious beliefs. These are some of the things that are at the core of who we are. Our true understanding of these issues in ourselves can serve to help us choose someone that is compatible.

Let’s face it, few of us would choose to partner up with a thief.  But how do you feel about a partner that would do such things as keep extra change that was mistakenly handed to him/her after a purchase. Or what about cheating on a test? For some of us these things are acceptable, but for others they are not.

I believe life is full of lessons. Some lessons we learn because we seek out knowledge and understanding, and other times it simply happens. I also believe that we can learn something from everyone we meet. And because I believe that way it is easier to deal with lots of situations. This includes even situations like finding out a partner is cheating or even making the discovery that a relationship is simply not going to work.

You see, even the wrong partner has a valuable lesson to teach, and that doomed relationship takes us closer to the one that we really want.

When we really seek to learn what we can from the individuals in our life we learn more about ourselves. One way to do this is to try to imagine being that other person and how he/she must feel about various issues. Try to determine what makes them tick and to understand then why they behave or do the things they do. Believe me, you will learn much about yourself, as well as the psychology of behaviors.

After you figure exactly the type of person that you want as a partner the next step is make yourself the ideal person for that individual. I know this sounds hokey, but think about it; if this other person is as special as you want them to be, then they want and deserve a wonderful partner, right? It only makes sense to work at turning yourself into that person. But be prepared to work at this. It could require giving up some bad habits or simply becoming more fit by taking better care of yourself.

Most of us have been in this situation at one time or another; we have a good friend that we are very close to, in fact, we have become so close to this friend that the friendship feels like much more. How do you know when the friendship has become an affair or a relationship?

On the surface this may seem very simple. You will say that a friendship is when two people are just that – they are friends and nothing more. But does it make a difference how close these friends can be if the friends involved in this friendship have partners? After all, some people use the ole line of saying that they are only friends to cover up an affair or relationship.

In essence, if we have any association with a person, we have a relationship with them. The association can then be defined as a friendship, working relationship, etc. Speaking of working relationships, we spend more of our waking hours with the people we work with than we do our family and friends. There simply isn’t any choice if we are working full time.

That makes it very easy to develop strong ties with those individuals – especially if we also go out to lunch with them and socialize with them after work hours. The point is that these people can become a very important part of our life. So where do we draw the line? Or do we allow our partners to set the boundaries?

First things first: it is true that friendships sometimes develop that are intense. For whatever reason the ‘friends’ are attracted to each other in more than a casual sense and have desires. Let’s be frank, as a human being one can sense when there is a physical attraction. Whether this is pheromones or simply due to the appearance and mannerisms of the partners involved, the attraction between the two is sensed. Deciding whether to act on it is what matters.

Every couple should have a discussion about what is and isn’t acceptable as far as friendships and flirting goes. In reality, having friends of all kinds is a good thing. It offers the opportunity to get insights from a variety of people which can broaden one’s way of thinking. Some couples are very open to outside friends and others are not. Extreme jealousy can often cause problems in a relationship.

Is flirting with others okay? Does it mean your partner wants someone else? When you see your partner flirt with someone else it may startle you and even hurt your feelings. But think about this: flirting in and of itself is harmless. It can be fun and make us feel good about ourselves when it is reciprocated. Why not let your partner have a little fun? Of course, if the action is a regular behavior then it can become annoying – but still rather harmless.

When a new relationship begins we are enthralled with the possibilities of what the future may hold. After all, it seems we have found someone that we really connect with – someone that we can love and who loves us back. And for most people, this early stage in the relationship, the honeymoon phase, is fun, interesting, and seems as though it will never end. But sadly, for many couples, the newness wears off and the romance subsides sooner than they would like.

So what goes wrong? Is it that the partners become too comfortable with each other and therefore they take advantage of each other’s good nature? Or does the love slowly dissipate for other reasons?

From personal experience I can tell you that any number of things can happen. Taking each other for granted is very common. The fact is that in the beginning we are thrilled to have a new person in our life. We do whatever we can to spend time with that person. And we are more tolerant of his or her strange ways; in fact, we may find those little quirks to be cute or to make that person special.

But for many of us as time goes on we eventually realize that those same ‘cute little things’ that made our new partner unique become annoying. And instead of appreciating our partner for the individual that he or she is, we begin to accept the fact that the person is a part of our life and that person simply has some annoying habits that we would like to change.

Obviously, this is unfair. All of us are unique and all of us have personality quirks. We do not expect that someone will ever ask us to change our little quirks. Let’s face it, being accepted just the way we are is important to us.

Another thing that happens is that we expect our partner to make us happy. That is so unfair! The reality is that each of us are responsible for our own happiness. We need to work at finding happiness and let that shine through in our relationships with others.

Jealousy is often a culprit in relationships. Knowing and understanding what each partner deems as acceptable in the relationship is vital to a lasting relationship.

If couples work at respecting each other from the start for who they really are the likelihood that the relationship will last is greatly improved. It’s often when one or both partners begin expecting changes that trouble begins.

Relationships with a solid foundation can survive even the hardest of times. The need is that the relationship be based on a true friendship that is given without conditions. Unconditional love, as it is referred to, is a love that accepts the other person just as they are. There are no requirements other than love and friendship.

Such relationships strengthen over time. In other words, as they age and season, the partners grow to respect each other even more. And in that way, the relationship continues getting better with age.

If I asked you to define flirting, what would you say? How do you know when someone is flirting with you? Do you believe flirting is beneficial or harmful to relationships? To answer any of these questions we must first agree on a working definition of what flirting really is.

Flirting is a form of communication that happens between two people that indicates the other is playfully interested in either getting to know the other one better or taking the relationship a little farther. Flirting can take many forms. Flirting can be the wink of an eye. Flirting can be a comment that can be both suggestive and innocent. Flirting can be a casual touch of the hand to the shoulder. Flirting can be a shy smile with down turned face and upturned eyes. Okay, that is the way we will think of flirting as we continue this article. Now it is time to discuss why flirting can be beneficial to a relationship.

Let’s face it; most relationships start out with at least a little flirting. Flirting allows one person an avenue to use to let another person know that he/she is interested in getting to know him/her better. Being on the receiving end of flirting is fun and it can make us feel attractive. We know that someone sees something in us that is interesting in some way.

Whether we admit it or not, we enjoy knowing that other people like the way we look. Being flirted with can help to build our self-confidence. Feeling attractive and interesting is a good feeling and we tend to gravitate toward people that make us feel good – which means, flirting can often be an effective way of getting someone’s attention.

Obviously, many relationships begin and are built with various flirting techniques. This is often how we meet and establish a connection. Later, flirting is important to relationships because it signals an intimate connection to your partner. Nothing makes a woman feel better than to know that she and her man have a lingering connection, and nothing can bring up that feeling in her quite like an innocent-but-more flirt from across the room at a crowded gathering. It is as if the whole world disappears for just a moment and there is nothing and no one but the two people involved.

But before we go any further – it is important to know that men also enjoy and appreciate being flirted with. After all, just like women, men like to feel attractive and interesting. This means that flirting can be a very effective tool for women to have at their disposal.

Studies show that flirting is important to relationships even when the relationship has been ongoing for years; that is because it makes the couple feel good about themselves, their partner, and the relationship in general. Why is flirting important to relationships?

It keeps a little sizzle going and makes you feel great, sexy, and wanted. The idea is that flirting sends signals to the recipient that is between the two of you. When you and your partner are out with friends or even when you are home alone, practice flirting with him/her just as you did when you first met. Keeping a little play and fun in the relationship helps to keep the zest alive.

Few of us make it through life without suffering the anguish of a difficult break up. Unfortunately, some of us go through more than one break up. And depending on the unique situation, a break up can be the start of something much better.

However, it is not easy to visualize that when your heart is breaking and all you want to do is go back in time; back to when you and your ex were together. But focusing on the past will not help to move you forward. The past should definitely be analyzed in a way that will help to determine what went wrong. Knowing what was wrong will allow you to work on resolving that issue in future relationships.

A first step after a break up is to simply take some time for yourself. Allow time for sadness and even self-pity if you believe it will make you feel better, but, and this but is extremely important; put a time limit on it. You see, if you spend too much time crying and feeling sorry for yourself you will soon become stagnant. In other words you won’t be moving forward with your life. So decide from the start that you will give yourself 3 days, 5 days, or even a week for the initial feelings of gloom to settle. Then you can begin to move forward.

A good start is to be nice to you. Consider what is missing from your life that you could easily add and do it. Have you neglected a hobby that you once loved?  Have you let yourself get out of shape? What about your home, is it clean and tidy? Perhaps there is some type of self-improvement book or course that would not only be interesting, but in the end might even make you a better person.

You will find more time for the things that matter to you and at the same time you’ll create a person that is very desirable to others. Your self-esteem will improve and your new hobbies will make you a more interesting individual. But of course, during all this time you will have been thinking over your past relationship. By now you will have a good idea about what went wrong and why. And because you have had a break from your ex you know now if you really want to pursue rekindling that relationship. But you also know that taking care of yourself and remembering who you are is important.

You see, sometimes we get so caught up in loving someone that we forget to love ourselves. When that happens we tend to neglect our own needs and in the process we can lose touch with who we really are. And unfortunately that can make us much less interesting to the one person we want most to impress. It can become a vicious cycle.

Life has taught you unavoidable lessons. You are stronger than ever and you know what is important to you. This knowledge is powerful because you can now be involved in a relationship without being defined by it.

When it comes to relationships there are few things more important than the way you communicate with your partner. Communication really is the basis of most relationships. Consider early relationships. Think about all the time that is spent with phone conversations, emails, and text messages. We simply have to communicate in order to get to know someone. And ideally we can talk openly and honestly with our partner.

As simple as this sounds many couples cannot have real conversations. This difficulty is usually not present early on in the relationship. In fact, most couples start out their relationships by having long and meaningful conversations.

But as time goes on the partners often seem to lose touch with really talking with their partners. Part of this stems from the fact that many couples find they are like ships passing in the dark. They have little time to enjoy conversations that are not absolutely necessary. In such situations, over time the couple may find that they have lost the art of how to communicate with one another.

Another communication problem that can result in real troubles for the couple is that of one partner not listening to what the other one says. Too many times it seems that one partner will hear the other one talking but little effort is given to listen to what is being said. When this happens the partner feels ignored, neglected, and that the partner does not care about what he is saying. It’s as if his thoughts are unimportant.

If this problem is not confronted and talked out it is likely to continue and the ill feelings will only grow worse. As time goes on both partners are likely to feel a sense of resentment toward the other. Obviously, the situation can escalate and the couple eventually feels they have completely lost touch with each other. If efforts to turn the situation around are not taken the relationship is likely to fall apart.

Other circumstances can be even more drastically damaging to the relationship and it can happen much faster. When one or both partners are evasive or dishonest there is little chance for true communication.  Avoiding telling your partner the truth, or the whole truth can result in a complete disrespect for the sanctity of the relationship.

That alone can cause enough hurt that some people are not able to forgive or trust again. When that happens the relationship is all but over.

Whether you are fresh out of a relationship or you’ve never been in one, there are some preparations that can help insure your readiness for the experience. You have probably heard the saying that before you can love someone else you have to love yourself. In discussing how to prepare yourself for a relationship that thought is very important.

One of the first things anyone desiring a relationship should do is get to know himself. This means knowing the person inside. Too many people never take the time to understand what it is that they personally want out of life. That knowledge will help to determine the type of person that will be a good partner for you.

But before we talk about the really deep stuff we should probably start with the basics that involve the here and now. When you decide you are ready for a relationship you are making the decision to include another person in your life in an intimate way. This might mean simply spending time together going out on dates but it could develop into a live-in situation or even marriage.

With that being said it is important that you have at least some ideas about what a relationship means to you. For most people, a relationship has to be built on trust and understanding. Some couples prefer a certain amount of freedom while others choose to spend as much time together as possible.

Consider ahead of time how much room in your life there is for another person and just how they would ideally fit in. If you have hobbies that interest you they should not have to be neglected in order to pursue a relationship. Just as a side note, perhaps there are clubs or organizations for people with the same interests. Someone from there could possibly be the ideal partner.

Other things to consider include your values, morals, and religious beliefs (or lack of), and how important it is to you that your partner shares in those. After all, some things are real deal breakers and the sooner you know about them the better. The point being, if you determine ahead of time what is or isn’t important to you then you can better decide who will make a good partner for you. You will know the things to look for in deciding who you want to get involved with for the long term.

Some of the things that should be considered include where you want to live, the type of place you want to live in, if you want children, if so, how many and what parenting style do you believe is best, and the list goes on. When you have found someone that you believe is right for you, based on your relationship criteria, you can then begin to build a relationship. Because the two of you have so many basic things in common the relationship will have a solid foundation.

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