Online Dating the Pro`s and Con`s

 More and more people are finding that the Internet is an easy way to meet and get to know people. Of course new online dating sites are springing up daily, but in this case we are discussing informal online meetings. This can include people with a common interest, such as members of a particular membership or club, or it can be as simple as meeting on My Space, Twitter or any number of online places.

Friendships usually begin with a discussion about whatever it is the couple has in common but if things go well the friendship is likely to grow. Keeping in mind that this person could live within one hundred miles of you, or he/she could be thousands of miles away is important. That awareness can help keep things in perspective.

Obviously it is much more difficult to develop a serious relationship with someone that is not physically there. On the other hand, with such online relationships a certain anonymity is kept that allows the individuals a freedom of expression that they may not feel when with another.

This can result in a total openness in the way the two relate to each other. The individuals may find that they feel more comfortable with this online date than they do with anyone else. When that happens the next step is of course for the couple to meet and see if they get along together as well in person as they do online. The reality is that some people find partners online, fall in love, and spend the rest of their lives together. This can happen regardless of the miles that separated them initially.

But the same anonymity that allows one person to bear his soul to another can be the mask that someone else hides behind only to pretend to be someone or something that they are not. When this happens the ending is disappointing, at least for one of the partners.
In fact, there have even been some criminal cases related to online dating and relationships. Some people have fallen victim to lies and deceit and in some cases have willingly given money to the criminal and in other cases, agreed to an ill-fated meeting.

So how can you protect yourself? Begin by asking a lot of questions of anyone that you are interested in. Take note of any discrepancies in his/her stories. Never send money to someone you do not know and do not share personal identification information such as credit card numbers, bank account numbers, or your social security number.

Your initial meeting should be in a public place, such as a restaurant or coffee shop. Tell others about this date, where it is and how long you expect to be gone beforehand. Let someone know that you will give them a call when you return home. Taking a friend along is a good idea. If things go well you may not need a friend for the next meeting. Under no circumstances should you go to his/her home/hotel on your first real date. Always put your safety first.

The Best Online Dating Advice

 Online dating can seem daunting at first, it is completely different from anything that has really gone before it and as such many people don’t have a frame of reference.  With online dating being such a new phenomena, having really only taken off in the last decade, it can be hard to understand what is needed and what the best way to go about starting is.  However the good news is that far from being scary the anonymity that the internet provides means that it can be a lot less scary than meeting people in person.  Even though you are giving your real name there is a degree of separation which allows more confidence.  But to give even more confidence follow these snippets of advice from those who have successfully used online dating services.  

1. Your profile.  Almost all dating sites require you to fill out a profile of sorts.  It is important here to be honest, brief and fun.  Lies will be quickly found out and no one wants to read your life history.  Instead be flirty, be jokey.  Allow your personality to shine through and give things people might contact you about – interests, hobbies, job etc.  Jokes and ‘hooks’ like these are often the main reason for contact.
2. Include a photo.  Too many people leave the photo blank scared of being seen on a dating site.  But this is a mistake, having a photo can increase your response rate dramatically. Choose one you feel not only looks good but gives the real you.  For example if you say in your profile you love skiing, show one of you on a ski slope (the best looking one of course), such additional prompts can really hook people who have the same interests as you.
3. Don’t be shy!  If you are on an online dating site it is for a reason, the same as everyone else. But often people become shy and wait to be contacted rather than make the first move. Don’t worry about that.  Instead contact those who interest you – they may not reply but since you are not likely to see them again it is not something that you should worry about. By making the first move you put yourself ahead of a lot of the game.
4. Keep in contact.  Once contact has been made you need to keep going.  Keep it flirty and light but also keep it regular, the more momentum you have the more likely something will progress.  That might mean emails, personal messages, an instant messenger service, whatever works best for you to allow you to get to know them and talk to them on a regular basis.

Play it safe.  Be wary meeting people.  Always get to know them online first, don’t give too many personal details and arrange meetings in a public place, ideally in daylight, where you both get there separately.  This is not unique to online dating but good advice for any first date.

How to Do Online Dating

 For many people deciding to do online dating is a big step, but a step that is becoming more and more popular as people come to realize how successful, fun and even time saving it can be!  But deciding to try online dating and knowing how to go about it are two very different things.  Which is why we have put together this step by step guide to getting the most out of it.

1. Choose your site(s).  Different online dating sites have different ‘feels’ and target audiences. Are you looking specifically for one type of guy or girl?  Or are you more open to your idea of who the ‘right person’ really is.  There are an amazing amount of niche dating websites out there, from those in the emergency services to sites catering only for those with certain religious beliefs.  Know what you are looking for and find the sites that suit you.
2. Diversify to increase your chances.  Don’t just stick to one site that suits your needs though, there are often two or three or even more in a niche that can help you, as well as generalist ones that could have the sort of partner you are looking for hidden amongst the ‘rough’. Look at using a number of sites to find the ones that work for you.
3. Work on your profile.  Many consider their profile as something they need to get out of the way before they get to the good bit, but it is this profile that will decide whether people get in contact, or respond, to you at all.  So work on making it the best you can.  Aim for fun, brief but informative – give plenty of nuggets of information that might act as ‘hooks’ or reasons for people to contact you.
4. Pictures.  You may not like it but putting pictures of yourself up is almost essential.  But obviously you can be selective in what you allow people to see.  Use profile pictures that show you in the best light but also show your sense of humour or interests – it will really increase how many people get in touch.
5. Put yourself out there!  Once you have decided to join dating sites don’t hang on the sidelines like a wallflower at a dance, get involved, start contacting people who interest you. It will surprise many just how much fun flirting online can be!
6. Don’t invest emotionally.  Online dating is, usually (there are exceptions), meant to be light and fun.  So keep it flirty and fun, when things start to get serious you should look at meeting (or even before then), before that be flirting with numerous potential partners to see who is right for you.  This is not ‘playing the field’ in the traditional sense but simply using the site for the reason everyone signed up for it – online rules are different to offline ones.
7. Don’t be afraid to meet, but be safe.  If you find that you trust and like the person you are talking to online then do meet up with them – it is how you are going to take things to the next step.  But also play it safe, meet in public places, let friends know where you are going and with who (perhaps even bring a friend first time) and try keep it out in the daylight.

Online dating is fun, popular and successful.  Follow these simple steps and you won’t go far wrong, and could be meeting your future partner, or at least some fun people, very quickly.