Dating and Relationships

Casual dating in London is important.  It is one of the busiest cities in the world, it has a massive population, but also a population that is largely in transition.  As such finding casual dates to go out and have some fun with can be difficult – there simply is so much competition all the time, and people take their time so seriously.

But whilst in the real world such time constraints and competition can prove to be a stumbling block online these factors are actually a bonus when it comes to trying to get casual dates in London.

Why online dating sites are perfect for getting casual dates in London

Whilst the competition in any bar for ‘time’ with members of the opposite sex can be ferocious, online things are different.  With such a large, and in the main tech savvy, population London has a large number of people who use online dating sites.

The way such sites work means that you will

a) be able to find a lot of people who interest you

b) be able to declare your interest via PM/a prompt button in a manner that will instantly get you noticed in a way that you are unable to do in a bar.

This means that the more people online the better for you – as the more people available who will interest you and who are looking for casual dates.

That is a big advantage of online dating for anyone who wants casual dates rather than leaping full out into relationships.  Because of the very nature of online dating you are meeting people who just want to get to know you before any commitment, and often people who are just after a bit of fun.

With such a constantly changing population many people on London dating sites are just reaching out to others for a date for a good night out – to meet people who have the same sense of fun as they do.  It is a far cry from the old personal ads that might have been desperate pleas to try meet a soul mate.

Using the dating sites

Of course it is important to know how to use the dating sites to your advantage, you don’t want to be meeting the sort who are after initial commitment.  So it is important that you sculpt your profile into something that shows people exactly what you want – casual dating in London.

So keep your profile flirty and jokey.  Don’t say you are after long term commitments if you are not – you will be attracting the wrong crowd.  Instead talk about fun nights out in restaurants and bars, talk about the sort of date that you fancy doing and the sort of fun that you want to be having.

The good news is there are plenty of websites for Londoners who cater specifically for casual dating, so you don’t need to rely on generalist relationship sites.  Remember, online dating gives Londoners much better odds of finding a casual date than trying to find one in a bar.  Certainly worth a try.

For years direct dating has had a bit of a bad reputation as only being for those who are desperate, who who are unable to find partners by other means because there is something wrong.

But times have changed and so to has direct dating, now such methods (including online dating, dating agencies etc) are enjoying a change of image.  It is now seen as a legitimate way for people to meet like minded people, for those who are short of time to find people to take on dates.  Certainly perfect for those who live in busy places like London.

But which one works better, direct dating or traditional dating?

Of course both methods have their pro’s and con’s, so let us look at which might be right for you.

Time

With direct dating you choose how much time you devote to it, but more importantly you can choose to do it in break moments, quiet times when you might otherwise be twiddling your thumbs (especially true of online dating websites).  Whilst you may get more from putting more time in because of the way direct dating works even a few minutes a day can put you in touch with many potential dates.

Traditional dating is harder to quantify.  You never know when you will be meeting new people, and if you actively seek out individuals it can take many evenings in bars, clubs, meetings etc before you find someone who you find attractive and who thinks likewise, and who is single.

Choice

Direct dating’s success depends on bringing you a wide range of choice.  It depends entirely where you live.  I  London you tend to get a wide choice because of the large population, whilst in small towns you have less options.  But you always know that the people you see are available rather than having to find out – and if you live in somewhere like London you get choices well into the tens of thousands.

Traditional dating gives a far wider choice – theoretically everyone.  But you need to find ways of meeting them, find out if they are available and understand more about them as there is no profile to read.

Availability

Direct dating is the hands down winner here.  Because you know that anyone who is putting themselves up for direct dating is available you don’t have to ask awkward questions about spouses or partners to find out as you would when meeting someone via traditional methods.

Attraction

Traditional methods have the edge here.  You will know far better if you are attracted to someone upon seeing them in the flesh and then chatting with them for a few minutes then you would be browsing some photos and reading a profile.

Both methods of finding dates work, but the best way is to try combine the two.  Use direct dating as a way of trying to meet people but never be closed to finding someone via the traditional method.  There are plenty of direct dating options available, so look for the best websites and dating agencies for you, your situation and what you are looking for.

The fairy tell has ended and your prince has left you. But all may not be lost just yet. If you are serious in getting tips on how to get a guy back, then this may be the place to look.

Never ever plead or beg a guy to give you another chance. Firstly, it is demeaning both to yourself and the relationship as well, as it can never be based on pity of forced emotions. He must want to take you back and no amount of wheedling is going to be the foundations of a successful reconciliation. Sure, it might work sometimes and pity might override whatever emotions were there, but it will not last, that is guaranteed to be true. If you do want him back, it has to be on the terms of understanding, mutual respect and love. He will lose all respect for you if you do this, if you undermine yourself and make a scene. It might even be enough to erase whatever emotions he had for you in the first place so avoid this situation at all costs.

Use the information that you have gained about him to your advantage. In the end of the day, with the exception of his mother, you are the person that probably knows him the best and you know what he likes, what his weaknesses are and what he responds to emotionally. It might seem a bit underhanded but you are on the losing end of this struggle. He has probably decided that there is no hope for the relationship and the anger is fresh on his mind. Appearing out of nowhere with no ammunition will only lead you to get shot down once again, and it will only reaffirm his anger and his feelings for you. So have a plan and come prepared. Talk to his friends and even his family if possible. Draw up a strategy with the things that he likes best and execute the plan.

The last piece of advice might seem hard to follow, but by looking at all the bad relationship endings in the past, this has to be one of the best advices given to women who want to get their guy back. Let him go and leave him alone. Live your own life and enjoy it, get over the initial sadness and hold on to the memories that you both had. When the time comes, you will know whether or not he really still feels anything for you. This is the best test when it comes to getting your man back. There really is no point forcing him when there is no more love to be squeezed from this relationship. The true test is to find out whether there are any lingering emotions that he has for you and eventually he will call you and things can progress from there. Never, never force a situation because at the end of the day, it can only end up bad for the both of you.

There are many couples who decide to live together when the urge to have sex is decreasing, but according to the sexologists when you do not have sex steadily over time you lose that desire. So, Sexless relationships, can they work? 

In general, if the couple still wants to and cannot have sex because one is tired or have no time then it does not produce any kind of conflict, but in the event that a person has an urge to have sex and the other is not cooperating then several conflicts arise, which can lead to infidelity and cause separation.

Do not be surprised if your partner gives you the excuses like stress, lack of sleep, depression, among others. If the two cannot solve this problem, the best option is to consult a physician or a psychologist. So, Sexless relationships, can they work? 

We all know the importance of sex in couples. This not only has to do with the frequency of sex in these relationships, but also the quality. Over time, experts argue that the passion is lost and the relationship centers on the love and companionship. How far is this true? Sexless relationships, can they work?

It is partly true that over a period of time, love takes the front seat in any relationship and sex might take the back seat. But still, sex can be considered as one of the major elements in any relationship and it cannot be completely ignored. This is because sex multiplies the desire for each other and it is the spice of any relationship. This is the reason why you need to give it a bit of attention apart from love and companionship. Plan to take some time out of your busy schedule and try to spend that time with your partner. Not only that, make sure that you have sex at least once in every week if not every day. Also be completely aware of the other person’s needs for sex in a relationship. If you completely ignore the other person’s needs then there are chances that he or she might want to stray out for the sake of sex. This is completely unhealthy for the relationship and might cause separation or a divorce.

 So, Sexless relationships, can they work? The chances are very little. So it is better to maintain that fire till the last breath. If you cannot maintain the frequency it is not a problem but if sex complete lacks in the relationship then there are the chances that the relationship might completely lose the beauty. So make sure you maintain physical intimacy as much as possible in the relationship. Sex is one of the most important needs of the human body apart from food and clothing. So, one should completely attend this particular need in order to lead a harmonious and healthy life. When it comes to maintaining a relationship, sex is one of the most important factors apart from love and proper understanding.

Breakups happen, sometimes even to good relationships. The causes can range from a one-time argument to a long-term problem that builds momentum over time. In some cases the relationship was not built on a solid enough foundation so the slightest problems can result in major disputes.

Whatever the reason or cause of the breakup, one partner or both will be left feeling hurt and lost. These feelings are demonstrated differently by different people. Some people will openly cry and show their hurt, even openly displaying signs of depression. But others hide the hurt behind outward demonstrations of anger. For some, a display of anger is more acceptable than that of showing hurt or disappointment.

That does not mean that the hurt is not there. In fact, if there is not hurt, then there is little need for anger at all. Regardless of whether the breakup results in acknowledged feelings of hurt, disappointment, or anger, many times the immediate response is to do whatever it takes to get the ex back.

Unfortunately, an immediate response will almost always be a wrong response. When a break up occurs there are certain things that should take place if you want to get your ex back. Luckily, these steps are easy to follow and they work at least 95% of the time. Check them out!

1)    Put some space between you and your ex.

This means that you should give yourself and your ex time to adjust to the situation, and time to think things through before making any attempt at communication.

2)    Analyze the relationship and the problems it had.

Determine what went wrong and if it is possible to make things better. This is an important time. Consider if the relationship is worth the work it will take to make things better.

3)   Work on being nice to yourself. Do things that you enjoy or that you   have neglected while involved in the relationship.

This is a great time to work on self-improvement issues or to rediscover old hobbies. The more you do during this phase the more interesting you will be. That means you will have more to offer when you become involved in a relationship.

4)   Spend time with other people.

Begin by spending time with old friends and family members. Then go out on a few dates. This is not necessarily meant to be a way to find a new dating partner, but rather, it offers you an opportunity to see what it’s like to be with other people. You may find that you enjoy their company more than that of your ex. Regardless, you will be learning more about people and how to get along with them. This is another way to make yourself more interesting.

5)   Now you are probably ready to contact your ex. Simply make a brief phone call and ask for a short meeting (perhaps for coffee or lunch).

Keeping things brief provides a level of comfort in knowing that there is little chance for past issues to come up and if the meeting is uncomfortable it will be short. If things go well with this meeting you can plan another one. Take things slowly and remember to build into the relationship what was missing before.

What is Pre –arranged marriage?

Pre arranged marriage   – In Pre –arranged marriage the families or elders of the clan choose the partners for their children. This tradition is still kept with royalties; Indian’s; Chinese; and other cultures. This belief is respected and obeyed by the family and children.  The purpose of this obedience is to: maintain wealth, political status, heritage, culture, religion, settle some disputes, improve bloodline, horoscope, and to protect the name of the clan. To disobey this belief is a disgrace for the family and the clan in which they come from.

There is no real courtship between the persons involved in this kind of relationship. The courtship seen here is between the two families. The planning of this courtship may start at birth of the child or at a later age without the child’s knowledge.  The parents may introduce the future spouse to their child when the apparent time of engagement is done. The belief is said that the choice of elders is more or less accurate and stable since there is a thorough background check of the families concerned.  They claim that most of the time the traditional marriage sometimes does not work as there is no thorough background check.  In this pre –arranged marriage the parents play an important role influencing the child on their own choice of mate.  Since there is no courtship in the beginning of marriage, the parents understanding of their cultures; religion and checking of family background of  the spouse the will enhance the marriage. Their love for each other will develop and romance starts.

It is said that there are some cultures in which the children prefer to have their elders choose their spouse as they don’t want the long wait of courtship. For some cultures it may work as they are duty bound to obey the belief so as not to disgrace the family.

There are different views on this kind of relationship. The positive factors are: there is a thorough background check of both families – which means that they know each other’s family and respect each other’s view which may  partially solve if there arises an attitude problem during marriage; religion – they must have the same views; wealth is maintained on both sides or same category of financial status.  The negative factors are: the age of the children to be married. They can get married at the early age of 15 and the kids are not fully matured to handle the situation of a long life commitment, sexual problems, attitude problems may show during married life as this is a condition wherein a person can’t handle stress, the person is not able to keep the expectations of the spouse nor of the clan, have to adjust with each other since there was no courtship.

Married life is full of responsibilities, expectations, demands, daily stress, and sometimes competition of status. The stability of pre-arranged marriage will also depend on the strength of trust and respect the children have on their parent’s decision and their decision to accept the situation.

When we meet our ‘true love’ most of us want to spend every minute possible with him or her. We enjoy listening to what they have to say, we overlook their quirky little imperfections – in fact, we adore them. In general, we fantasize about being with this person every day and every night. Our mind starts to wander toward thoughts of the current living arrangements and how to best remedy that. After all, we want nothing more than to wake up each morning with him/her by our side and to go to sleep the same way.

For some people this will immediately bring to mind thoughts about an engagement followed by a wedding, a blissful honeymoon, and a fairytale life forever more. But for others among us, this type of attitude will prompt thoughts about living together. The process is rather simple – one of you will move in with the other and you will become a couple that loves and lives together on a daily basis.

The advantages of this sort of arrangement include the fact that at least initially; the two of you can keep both homes – just in case one week together is all you can stand, the break up won’t leave either of you homeless. Moving in together provides you with all the closeness of being married, but without any of the legal paperwork that bonds you together. There’s no need to plan for a big expensive wedding – you can start your new living arrangements right away.

The bad thing about that is our society is set up to accept ‘married’ couples in a different way than we accept those couples that simply live together. Right or wrong, some people still believe that living together without the benefit of marriage is wrong. Our society and government seem to support this view by making more advantages available to married couples than to others.

The truth is that husband and wife couples get breaks on their taxes, they can cover each other with their insurance plans, and if there is a divorce there are libraries full of books with laws designed for such an occasion. In some cases, it can be simple to end a marriage because there are so many legal alliances one can turn to. But if you live with your partner and things don’t work out the ending can be quite different.

This is largely because the typical laws relating to the dissolution of a marriage do not apply. This can result in loss of property and even a separation from (your partner’s) children that you have come to love. But of course, without the ‘legal’ marriage to deal with, both partners are free to walk away at anytime they choose.

For some couples, this seems to add to the love they feel from their partner – after all, living together is a choice they make on a continuous basis, whereas many married couples live together because they have committed to the marriage and divorces are a lot of work plus they’re expensive. Then again, because couples that are living together have the freedom to walk out the door without returning, many people involved in such relationships feel insecure.

Determining what is right for you and your partner is a personal decision. However, there are pros and cons to both ways of doing things. Before you make a decision that will affect you profoundly, always consider the options as well as the potential outcomes.

Unfortunately most of us will experience a horrendous breakup or even a divorce during our lifetime. The truth is losing someone you love is never easy, whether it is through a break up, a divorce, or a death. And it hurts to know that we made a mistake that was so huge that it impacted our lives so drastically. But the good news is a relationship break up leaves room for new growth.

This is not to say that people cannot grow when they are in a committed relationship or marriage, because they can. However, many people, without even noticing it, become a partner instead of an individual. They seek their identity through the relationship. What this means is that without the relationship they feel they are not whole.

The good news is that each of us are individuals and each of us have our own identities and personalities. We have our personal likes and dislikes as well as our interests. However, some of us tend to lose touch with ourselves when we become so enmeshed in a relationship that it consumes our time, thoughts and body. These relationships can either smother us to the point of compliance or to the point of exhaustion – where we have to find an escape route. And this is often the case in relationships that end. Think about that for a moment!

Giving it your all can sometimes be misunderstood to mean ‘giving all of you’. And there is a difference. First of all, before you met your ex you had a life of your own that did not include him/her. There were things about you that made you interesting to your ex. You were a likable and lovable person then and you still are.

I suggest that you use the time after a divorce/break up to get back in touch with who you really are. Take a good look at yourself – on the inside. Then compare that with who you are showing people. Do you love reading novels but gave that up years ago because your partner didn’t like reading? If so – go out to the library or bookstore and get a good book. Have you let yourself gain weight because you have been eating the way that suits your partner? This is the perfect time to develop some healthy eating habits – in fact, why not work on a healthier lifestyle all the way around?

The idea is to use this time as precious time that has been given to you for a purpose. The purpose is what you make it. It can be to rediscover yourself – you know, that little person that lives inside you. Or it can be a time to redefine yourself. If you have become a slob and a disorganized person, this is the ideal time to work on resolving that.

By focusing on you and how you can be the person you want to be you will find that the days will go by, and as time goes on, you will feel less and less stress about the loss of your marriage. You will develop new goals around the new – old you! Your life will become yours again, just as it was before, only better. There’s a saying that everything happens for a reason and it’s true. But sometimes you have to look for the good that is hiding in the midst of something unpleasant to understand that with every new challenge life brings us there’s a new opportunity for growth.

When we first begin a relationship our life partner we are likely to want to spend every possible moment with our new mate. Most of us find this new person irresistible, we simply cannot get enough of them. During this initial phase we are learning about them, and for most of us we are hanging on every word they say and listening intently. Most people feel full of joy and see life through rose colored glasses during this stage. This stage, not surprisingly, is referred to as ‘the Honeymoon’ stage.

The stage of a relationship is a phase of discovery. We have become accustomed to seeing our partner so some of the initial excitement is over. During this stage we discover each other’s little quirks and things that make the person human. This phase is when most couples begin to really open up to one another on a consistent basis about their deep thoughts and feelings. Emotional intimacy can become a true reality during this phase.

Once you have come this far most couples agree that it is time to commit to each other. After all, they feel very comfortable with each other and they have shared intimate details about their lives with one another. They have acknowledged that each of them have flaws but they’ve accepted them.

The fourth stage is sometimes referred to as the ‘Power Struggle’ phase. This is the stage where many couples give up – they end their relationship. Power struggles are never comfortable and they are difficult to work through. They usually seem to come from out of nowhere, leaving the partners wondering what went wrong. This is one of those times that the partners have to remember that magical word called ‘compromise’. Communication is vital during such phases.

After the power struggle is resolved the couple will probably move into a stage of growth where feelings of intimacy between them are intensified and the bonds are stronger than ever. Each has learned something new about the other and hopefully each has accepted his/her feelings and views. Because they have weathered a storm together and come through it still holding hands the couple is more in love than ever. It’s great food for the soul.

And not surprisingly, this newfound intimacy often leads to a second phase of what many call a Honeymoon stage. The couple feels great about being together and the bonds are stronger than ever. In the best and healthiest relationships this phase will last indefinitely.

So what was left out? Well, lots of things really. There are phases that focus on such things as having kids, or starting a new business, or any other project that is time and thought demanding. The reason the couple will go through changes during such times is because as one or both partners is giving time and attention to a baby, a new job, a new business, or whatever, the other partner may feel left out, lonely, ignored, neglected, or even jealous. And when that happens the partners have to work through the difficulties and find common ground and compromises that work for both of them.

There are also stages that focus on hardships that could include almost anything that one or both partners finds disturbing. Sometimes it is as tragic as a death of a parent, sibling or child, and other times it may be bankruptcy or health issues that must be addressed.

The reality is that relationships consist of living beings that are closely connected. Relationships themselves take on a life of their own. They have to be nurtured and cared for if they are to thrive. People in the relationships need to understand that there will be phases to their relationship and this is the normal progression of things. This understanding will make the ups and downs of life and how they affect the couple easier to accept. In the end, the couple is likely to learn that each change can be an opportunity for bringing them closer and making their bonds stronger.

Keeping the romance alive after kids can be such a difficult thing to do because responsibilities have taken a much wider margin than romance.  You have bills to pay, kids to pay attention to, chores to do and for reason or the other, you are just too tired to be romantic.

Couples are emotionally and physically drained as taking care of children takes its toll on your relationship. Sleep deprivation, lack of privacy, no more romantic getaways and unhurried and unscheduled sex. We just have to take care of the kids first, and many times our personal wants and needs end up being put on hold.

Reawaken the flame by following a simple list I have conjured up.

1. Call each other pet names like when you were still going out, AVOID Mom or Dad. Calling each other as such spells responsibility not sexiness.  You have to strive to be a bit more romantic than before.

2. Take the stress away after a hard day’s work by greeting them with a kiss and hug and ask how their day went. Show more caring behavior when they arrive home before the conversation shifts to the kids. Let him/her know that keeping your marriage strong is vital to maintaining the family bonds that are important to you. Tell your husband/wife that the love is still there, even if the romance must be postponed from time to time.

3. Be a little naughty in planning on how to spend the time alone with them.

4. Place small notes in lunches you prepare for them, they could be flirty messages or anything that creates anticipation.

5. Be creative in making love by buying sexy lingerie, making love on the porch under the moonlight bliss. Experiment with sex a lot to keep the love juices flowing.

6.  Make any dull moment magical and remind each other often and in countless ways that you still love them through the years.

7. Tuck the kids early to bed while planning something really naughty afterwards.

Like the majority of most married couples with kids, if you think about it you spend more time commuting and spending time outside the home rather than with your significant other.  In this demanding world of ours with couples concentrating on responsibilities, multiple priorities and distractions along the way, we tend to put aside our most significant other.

Meet and plan at least once a week, once a month or an annual getaway to spend some quality time with each other to keep the spark alive. Take turns in planning out dates for each other. And if your in-laws are really nice maybe they could just take care of the grandkids for a little while so you can date.

All it takes is just a little ingenuity and commitment from each of you to keep the love alive, that’s what’s important.

No matter who you, or what stage of life you’re in, or whether you are married, engaged, living with a partner, or you just met someone, or even are hoping to meet someone – we all have one thing in common; all of us start out alone. Before each and every relationship we have at least some alone time.

I believe the alone time is probably some of the most valuable time we ever get. This time allows us an opportunity to get to know ourselves and knowing we really know who we are we can better contribute to others in our life and to the world in general.

I’m not talking about hocus pocus or make believe stuff here. I’m talking about knowing what is truly important in our own world. You could start out with a focus on such things as ethics, morals, and even religious beliefs. These are some of the things that are at the core of who we are. Our true understanding of these issues in ourselves can serve to help us choose someone that is compatible.

Let’s face it, few of us would choose to partner up with a thief.  But how do you feel about a partner that would do such things as keep extra change that was mistakenly handed to him/her after a purchase. Or what about cheating on a test? For some of us these things are acceptable, but for others they are not.

I believe life is full of lessons. Some lessons we learn because we seek out knowledge and understanding, and other times it simply happens. I also believe that we can learn something from everyone we meet. And because I believe that way it is easier to deal with lots of situations. This includes even situations like finding out a partner is cheating or even making the discovery that a relationship is simply not going to work.

You see, even the wrong partner has a valuable lesson to teach, and that doomed relationship takes us closer to the one that we really want.

When we really seek to learn what we can from the individuals in our life we learn more about ourselves. One way to do this is to try to imagine being that other person and how he/she must feel about various issues. Try to determine what makes them tick and to understand then why they behave or do the things they do. Believe me, you will learn much about yourself, as well as the psychology of behaviors.

After you figure exactly the type of person that you want as a partner the next step is make yourself the ideal person for that individual. I know this sounds hokey, but think about it; if this other person is as special as you want them to be, then they want and deserve a wonderful partner, right? It only makes sense to work at turning yourself into that person. But be prepared to work at this. It could require giving up some bad habits or simply becoming more fit by taking better care of yourself.

Most of us have been in this situation at one time or another; we have a good friend that we are very close to, in fact, we have become so close to this friend that the friendship feels like much more. How do you know when the friendship has become an affair or a relationship?

On the surface this may seem very simple. You will say that a friendship is when two people are just that – they are friends and nothing more. But does it make a difference how close these friends can be if the friends involved in this friendship have partners? After all, some people use the ole line of saying that they are only friends to cover up an affair or relationship.

In essence, if we have any association with a person, we have a relationship with them. The association can then be defined as a friendship, working relationship, etc. Speaking of working relationships, we spend more of our waking hours with the people we work with than we do our family and friends. There simply isn’t any choice if we are working full time.

That makes it very easy to develop strong ties with those individuals – especially if we also go out to lunch with them and socialize with them after work hours. The point is that these people can become a very important part of our life. So where do we draw the line? Or do we allow our partners to set the boundaries?

First things first: it is true that friendships sometimes develop that are intense. For whatever reason the ‘friends’ are attracted to each other in more than a casual sense and have desires. Let’s be frank, as a human being one can sense when there is a physical attraction. Whether this is pheromones or simply due to the appearance and mannerisms of the partners involved, the attraction between the two is sensed. Deciding whether to act on it is what matters.

Every couple should have a discussion about what is and isn’t acceptable as far as friendships and flirting goes. In reality, having friends of all kinds is a good thing. It offers the opportunity to get insights from a variety of people which can broaden one’s way of thinking. Some couples are very open to outside friends and others are not. Extreme jealousy can often cause problems in a relationship.

Is flirting with others okay? Does it mean your partner wants someone else? When you see your partner flirt with someone else it may startle you and even hurt your feelings. But think about this: flirting in and of itself is harmless. It can be fun and make us feel good about ourselves when it is reciprocated. Why not let your partner have a little fun? Of course, if the action is a regular behavior then it can become annoying – but still rather harmless.

When a new relationship begins we are enthralled with the possibilities of what the future may hold. After all, it seems we have found someone that we really connect with – someone that we can love and who loves us back. And for most people, this early stage in the relationship, the honeymoon phase, is fun, interesting, and seems as though it will never end. But sadly, for many couples, the newness wears off and the romance subsides sooner than they would like.

So what goes wrong? Is it that the partners become too comfortable with each other and therefore they take advantage of each other’s good nature? Or does the love slowly dissipate for other reasons?

From personal experience I can tell you that any number of things can happen. Taking each other for granted is very common. The fact is that in the beginning we are thrilled to have a new person in our life. We do whatever we can to spend time with that person. And we are more tolerant of his or her strange ways; in fact, we may find those little quirks to be cute or to make that person special.

But for many of us as time goes on we eventually realize that those same ‘cute little things’ that made our new partner unique become annoying. And instead of appreciating our partner for the individual that he or she is, we begin to accept the fact that the person is a part of our life and that person simply has some annoying habits that we would like to change.

Obviously, this is unfair. All of us are unique and all of us have personality quirks. We do not expect that someone will ever ask us to change our little quirks. Let’s face it, being accepted just the way we are is important to us.

Another thing that happens is that we expect our partner to make us happy. That is so unfair! The reality is that each of us are responsible for our own happiness. We need to work at finding happiness and let that shine through in our relationships with others.

Jealousy is often a culprit in relationships. Knowing and understanding what each partner deems as acceptable in the relationship is vital to a lasting relationship.

If couples work at respecting each other from the start for who they really are the likelihood that the relationship will last is greatly improved. It’s often when one or both partners begin expecting changes that trouble begins.

Relationships with a solid foundation can survive even the hardest of times. The need is that the relationship be based on a true friendship that is given without conditions. Unconditional love, as it is referred to, is a love that accepts the other person just as they are. There are no requirements other than love and friendship.

Such relationships strengthen over time. In other words, as they age and season, the partners grow to respect each other even more. And in that way, the relationship continues getting better with age.